Honey Don't

A novel that skewers the inanities of our age, with results that are outrageous, wildly funny, and utterly subversive. It's Sandlin at his most maverick best.

Set in the very near future, Honey Don't features a hit list that runs the gamut: from a goatish President dying in flagrante, to an aging Don appalled by modern manners; from a certifiably stupid mafia bagman fleeing both the Secret Service and the mob with $656,000 of dirty money in a locked attaché case and the President's head in a carry-all, to a coke-snorting, blow-dried VP who has suddenly caught the brass ring. Circling them are conniving White House staffers, corrupt politicos, sleazy journalists, and rancid pro-football coaches-all adding up to a DC three-ring circus.

And in the center ring is the eponymous Honey, one of those Texas women cursed with a given name that condemns her to a lifetime of cheerleadering. But this daddy's little girl is a free spirit in full rebellion, and her take on life-offbeat but on target-is the heart and soul of this antic tale. And, as always with Sandlin, it's the women who have the last laugh.

When reading Tim Sandlin's Honey Don't, one is tempted to make comparisons to other writers of very funny books: Carl Hiaasen, Tom Robbins, Kinky Friedman, and Robert Ferrigno, for starters. But after consideration, the conclusion is that Sandlin is strictly sui generis. Nobody else is quite as over-the-top as Sandlin. His Gro Vont Trilogy, set in Wyoming, introduced readers to a motley group of free spirits, but this one has them all beat.

RC Nash, a journalist returning from a bungled European assignment, and Jimmy Sebastiano, a small-time Mafia bagman who is carrying $656K for delivery to his boss, improbably share a cab from Dulles to downtown D.C. RC gets home to find his girlfriend gone and his entire wardrobe cut into bite-size pieces; Jimmy surprises his girlfriend, the eponymous Honey, in flagrante delicto with someone who looks vaguely familiar. Turns out it's the President who, in his haste to leave, trips on his shorts, hits his head and dies. What to do with the body of the President? Enter Secret Service men; a gay Washington Redskins third-stringer' a Mafia don whose name is Rat's Ass and his savvy grandson; a coke-snorting VP; a First Lady who used to be a jazzercise instructor; the C.I.A., F.B.I. and a few walk-ons from the local Damien's Donuts.

At times, there are too many sub-plots in motion to keep track of the action, but Sandlin takes on every sacred cow in existence: ethnicity, gender, politics, sexual conduct, self-serving greed, and hypocrisy--and shatters them one by one. For a refreshing vacation from political correctness and a few good belly laughs, Honey Don't is a good choice. --Valerie Ryan

I just found Sandlin and I love his work. A real kick! Thank you Amazon for carrying his now out of print books.

it's a great book! I've been enjoying working my way through all of his books, and it's been quite fun!

To compare Tim Sandlin with Tom Robbins, as "one dust jacket critic" has, is a bit of a stretch. Nevertheless,I remain a fan, anxious to get my hands on his next offering.

Having said this, Honey Don't was a mild disappointment. As in all Sandlin novels, the prose was entertaining and often humorous, but the book didn't seem to reach the levels of keen social awareness and psychological insight that we've seen in this fine writer's previous efforts, most notably The GroVont Trilogy.

I don't mean to dog this book. If you're a Sandlin fan as I am, by all means read this book. Just don't expect too much.

If there's such a thing as a typical Tim Sandlin novel, this probably ain't it. This is funnier in an over-the-top sort of way than his four-book trilogy, which is just plain funny in a Tim Sandlin sort of way. One way to look at this, if you're so inclined, is to consider Honey Don't as Tim's answer to my novel, Heart Seizure wherein I created an unfortunate FBI Agent by the name of Sandlin (in Tim's honor). In Honey Don't, Tim paid me back by creating a Senator Fitzhugh who is, well, lacking in several key personality traits. I think I lied to Tim soon after this came out, told him I read it and loved it. Truth is, I just got around to reading it but I was right about loving it. Honey is a sweetie, check her out.

Tim Sandlin is not up to his usual standard in Honey, Don't - and he knows it. Midway through the story he describes a character by describing what she sees as she looks into a mirror. Later on the same page that very character decides that if she were President she would make it a felony offense for a fictional character to describe herself by looking in a mirror. Things are bad when the author himself is pointing out the cliches he stoops to using.

The plot itself is interesting and deserved better. Honey and the President of the United States are interrupted mid-assignation and, in the resulting mayhem, the President dies. Honey and her boyfriend Jimmy (the interruptor) endeavor to get out of their jam and along the way collect a motley assortment of helpers and hangers on, including a down on his luck journalist who provides the brains of the outfit.

Sounds fun right? It is - if you skip about 125 pages in the middle. We learn a lot about people who don't matter to the story and the writing is packed with more of the aforementioned cliches. Would have been a great novella, but as it is it's not really worth the effort.